So it has been 1 year and a few weeks since I thought my world fell apart. I have not even paid attention to the timing, God's perfect timing but here I am. None of my worst fears happened. God answered my needs and brought me through my "valley of darkness" without my lifting a finger. He saw me staring into the pit of my own failures. He saw me in my personal Garden of Gethsemane-and he didn't want me to be alone.
I am so quick to think money is the answer and rich people don't have my level of stress but I have made less than nothing for 13 months and God has carried me. My heavenly Father often blesses me through my earthly father but I have not a need that wasn't met. I still have my house, we have never missed a meal and we have had extra blessings. I shall not want, (not because I have learned true happiness does not exist on this earth) but my cup truly runth over and then some. I can't always see how God is going to pay the mortgage or the medical bills but He does and He did not need my help.
I am very close to having the job I want and God continues to open doors. On the way to my written test I heard the song "when I call on Jesus" and again on my way to the oral board reminding me ALL THINGS are possible. Satan has tried to ruin everything I even was in a car accident on the way to the oral board but truly when I come to the end of myself God takes the wheel. He is a gentleman so He does let me swerve all over the road but when I move out of the way He takes the wheel and all is well. So why do I need to re-learn this lesson every time? Why do I still get upset when someone hurts me or things don't go my way? I still have to get to the end of my earthly power before I let go and let God. So if I a sinful, selfish parent know how to give good things to my children why can't I relax and allow my perfect Heavenly Father lavish upon me, HIS CHILD. God is with me every moment and He does not need my help or advise. Even if I have to sing the pre-school songs in my head to remember "My GOD is sooooo BIG sooooooo STRONG and Soooooo MIGHTY there is NOTHING my God can not do" I shall not fear what can mere man do to me ?
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WOw! That is very well written and well said. In times of crisis, it is so easy to ask Where is God?, but it is our faith that carries us through to see His path.
I have to admit I have had my own battles with these thoughts. I often ask for some semblance of what MY path is? What path has God chosen for me, but I am not willing to see? I feel like if I am shown my path, I can get on it a lot faster. I guess God has a reason for everything that we encounter in our lives. I am no expert, and I am far from being perfect, but your entry here reminded me of the importance of always turning to God in times of happiness and wealth as well as time of sorrow and despair. Your family has truly been a blessing in my life. I have no idea what I would do without you. Your strength and faith pulls me through ...maybe that is part of my blessing from God...to have a wonderful friend like YOU!
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