I have had some success in the weight lose area. I weighed in on friday and am down 10&1/2 pounds and lost 4% body fat. I can live with the shakes twice a day but I really look forward to the 1 meal however what I have forgotten is that that meal is to be sensible.
I am learning to change my eating style now that I am in my 30's. My doctor made a comment about being obese and don't I want to be around for my children's future. (yes I want to be here but I never thought I am making a choice not to be around every time I put something in my mouth)
On Tuesday I was informed I no longer had a job so ofcourse I see us living on the streets and all is lost. I tried to pretend I was ok but our little Caiden was over and he gave me a hug and asked in a tiny little voice "my katie don't cry, please " after much thought he informed me "mc nuggets make me happy" so ofcourse we got to try it.
Now being the food therapy moron that I am I proceeded to have a big mac, fries and a chocolate sundae with my mc nugget.
When things are bad I allow myself to eat (to feel better) but I felt huge and gross. Also when things are good I reward myself with food. Both leave me with heartburn when I indulge for comfort. Since I cannot afford to have my jaw wired shut I have to make peace with food.
I am currently with my sister which helps a lot A) she is tiny B) they don't eat fast food - everything is healthy C) I brought my shakes.
So on the plane ride here I am feeling great (remember I am down 10 and a half pounds) but the woman next to me was large poor thing she was so large she could not put the arm rest down so her butt and legs travelled along on top of me and it dawned on me that if I was not also heavy I could give her more room.
Once we landed I headed to the gym with new motivation ( totally love my sister's gym they provide the towels the water with lemon and they do your laundry so your not driving around with sweaty clothes in your trunk) after the shower I notice they provide the q-tips the hair dryer and there is a iron available ( I wished I had a nice blouse to iron and wear ) I brought comfy clothes and we will be in the hospital most of the trip.
The trainer advise is free there is a womans saide with weights so you don't have to work out with boys around. I hope to push myself and learn to burn the right calories so I can lose the remaning 40 pounds so I can go back to the doctor and say "I am a good mom and I will be around for awhile " I am learning to be confident and not make excuses. For now I still hate food but I have a choice to make everyday.
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